Friday, 29 April 2022

SEX LIFE ADVICE DURING LOCKDOWN

Lockdown came with a lot of baggage, and couples’ sex lives were affected. Herein are important aspects to consider to boost your sex life during the pandemic, including practicing mindfulness, getting a sex toy, and trying masturbation.

Getting used to staying at home all day with your family during the lockdown sounded like a fantastic idea, and most people applauded the government for laying down such a rule. However, this period was difficult for couples because most people were not prepared for the mental exhaustion of being stuck indoors. For this reason, many people opted to spend most of their time on social media to learn how to survive the lockdown. During this period, most couples looked to sex therapists for advice on how to improve their sex lives. This article outlines the key tips for improving your sex life during a lockdown. 

Tips to Boost Sex During Lockdown

Touch

people’s minds are wired to the need for physical and emotional connection. Depriving the body of this intimate need deprives one of life’s greatest joys. Intentional touch can include cuddles on the couch while watching your favorite show, a spooning session before bed, or holding your partner’s hands while taking the dog on a walk. According to Khajehei & Behroozpour (2018), these acts boost oxytocin levels in the body, lowering stress. You can even try to change some of the routines you are accustomed to. If you are used to dashing off the day with a “Bye, I will be home late today,” replace that with a sensual morning kiss. Explore sexual and nonsexual acts of touch to boost intimacy between you and your partner.

Practice Mindfulness

Negativity stems from the brain, and it often finds its way into an individual’s sexual drive. The pool of negative emotions and feelings negatively impacts people’s sex lives. Therefore, it is essential to practice mindfulness before engaging in any sex act. Try to focus on what feels good and wade off the negative thoughts with a meditation session. If you lead a busy life and hardly find time to meditate, you should try savoring pleasure to find happiness in your day-to-day experiences. These experiences may include eating a nice meal or enjoying a mug of coffee every morning.

Practice Open Gratitude and Communication  

Most people in relationships are afraid of saying what they want and desire. This lack of communication can lead to less intimacy and satisfaction. This is caused by the lack of sexual education that most people have when growing up. Sex is like the pivot of human existence because there would be no birthing of future generations without it. Therefore, it is important to voice what you feel, be it good or bad, during sex. Good communication is the door to a healthy relationship, especially during a lockdown, because bottling what you feel may result in depression or anxiety. 

Get a Sex Toy

Incorporating a sex toy during your steamy sessions has several lifelong advantages regardless if you are in a committed or casual relationship. Choosing the right toy that generates immense pleasure for both partners is important in boosting intimacy. Sex toys also boost sexual performance by allowing lovers to explore their sexuality without fear of judgment. During a lockdown, some couples did not have the luxury of living together. This contributed to many not engaging in sexual activities. However, with sex toys, especially the wireless type, couples can engage in kinky activities without face-to-face interaction. Download the app on your smartphone, and control the sex toy from anywhere in the world.

Try Some Erotica

Erotica is the art aimed at sexual stimulation or arousal. Reading erotica allows you to learn about the different forms of sexual pleasure and puts you in a better position to try what feels good to you. Sex feels better when your mind is free from the daily hustles of the day. Reading detailed descriptions of sex is beneficial to you and your partner because your minds visualize what may feel good and what may not. According to Zillmann et al. (1982), reading and watching erotica material has been said to relieve stressful thoughts. It may also help you view your sex life more positively because your mind is woken and ready to get kinky. 

Try Self-Masturbation

Kaestle & Allen (2011) noted that masturbation is the door that allows you to learn about your body intimately. Mindful masturbation is a transformative sexual act that allows you to get more in tune with your body. It involves touching your body seductively, slipping off your clothes in slow motion, and caressing yourself, resulting in an out-of-the-world sexual experience. Self-masturbation focuses on how your body reacts to pleasure while also allowing you to explore different ways you can climax on your own. You can also try masturbation with a partner but let them know what feels good and what doesn’t. During these sessions, listen to your body and focus on the areas that feel the most sensations.

The Bottom Line

Spending time with your partner in the confines of your home is an exhilarating experience. You get to try things you both never had time for, but what happens when your sex life starts driving south? Low sexual desire may result from stress at work or in the relationship, which, if not handled, could lead to a break-up. If the lockdown hurts your relationship, it is best to go back to the drawing board and see what you can incorporate to save your relationship with this article as your guide. The points listed above could help your relationship because sex is the pivot of any long-lasting relationship. 

References

Kaestle, C. E., & Allen, K. R. (2011). The Role Of Masturbation In Healthy Sexual Development: Perceptions Of Young Adults. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 40(5), 983-994.

Khajehei, M., & Behroozpour, E. (2018). Endorphins, Oxytocin, Sexuality And Romantic Relationships. World J Obstet Gynecol, 7(2), 17-23.Zillmann, D., Pearl, D., Bouthilet, L., & Lazar, J. (1982). Television Viewing And Arousal. Television And Behavior: Ten Years Of Scientific Progress And Implications For The Eighties, 2, 53-67

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Thursday, 28 April 2022

CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION: IS PORN ADDICTIVE?

Millions of people are glued to their laptops or smartphone screens watching porn. While society may be inclined to pass stern judgments on these people, it may or may not be their fault. Learn more about porn addiction, including the causes and how to overcome this addiction.

Most people have a faint knowledge of what porn addiction is. So, what exactly is porn addiction, and how do you know that someone is suffering from it? How do you help those trapped in the shackles of porn addictions? This article answers the most asked questions pertaining porn addiction.

What Is Porn Addiction?

Porn addiction is when someone, regardless of age, gets to the point where their emotions are entirely dependent on pornography films, making it hard for them to lead normal lives. In simpler terms, it is an obsessive interest in something. According to sex therapists, porn addiction is quite common despite critics’ comments. Most term it a hypersexual disorder, an umbrella term encompassing sexual behaviors such as excessive masturbation. Addiction is all in the brain. When you partake in something you are obsessed with, which in this case is porn addiction, your body alters the body’s dopamine system. Some researchers have gone to great lengths to prove that porn addiction is not a condition but a term that people use to describe sexually active people who love porn. 

 Is Porn Addictive?

As stated above, porn addiction is the obsessive need to watch or view pornographic films or photos despite the consequences of these actions. There is a thin line between porn addiction and having a keen interest in porn. In porn addiction, you spend absurd amounts of time watching these erotic films that affect your daily life compared to passively watching porn. So yes, porn is addictive if the viewer does not control their desires. Most people argue that if controlled, watching porn can be a good way to boost sex and intimacy while also providing a haven for our erotic desires. We can argue all day long, but we cannot detach our conscious from the harmful effects of a long-term dependence on porn. If you are concerned about your porn viewing habits and are worried you may be addicted, here are some signs to look out for;

  • You have tried to quit with no success.
  • You can end up watching porn for long hours despite the responsibilities you may be having.
  • You get upset when people suggest that you may be addicted to porn
  • You hide your porn obsession from family members and potential partners
  • You do not get satisfied during sex apart from when pornography is factored
  • You feel ashamed, and sometimes guilt creeps in due to your porn habits
  • You view porn regardless of where you are
  • Porn consumes your thoughts even though you are not watching it
  • You continue to watch porn despite experiencing all the above

Health professionals categorize porn addiction as a hypersexual disorder. This decision was met by backlash from a section of health practitioners who claimed there was not sufficient evidence to back up that fact. Pornography addiction may not be on the same floor as an addiction, but it shares some of the symptoms that come with addiction. For one to be called an addict, they must  pass at least two of the four addiction conditions, namely;

  • Inability to complete major tasks at home, school, or work
  • The craving to take part in an activity and failed attempts to cut on the said activity

Porn addiction fails to meet the addiction criteria because;

  • It does not include tolerance or withdrawal 
  • It does not involve any acts of risk-taking

According to Gola & Potenza (2018), porn addiction should be categorized as a compulsive disorder, like drug and alcohol addiction. Most argue that the mental development of someone addicted to porn is similar to drug users. This observation may conclude that physiological and psychological factors play a huge role in compulsive pornography behavior.

What Causes Porn Addiction?

There is a lot of controversy surrounding pornography addiction, and mental health experts are yet to settle on the clear cause of porn addiction. Pro-pornography people believe that many factors may have a hand in addiction. The factors include;

Relationship Issues

Some people turn to pornography to seek solace from the dissatisfaction they experience in their relationships.

Biological Factors

People’s brain structures are different, predisposing some people to addiction issues.

Cultural Issues

Many societies harbor weird sex facts that may contribute to most people turning to porn.

Other Mental Issues

People struggling with multiple addiction issues may struggle with porn addiction.

Is Porn Addiction Treatable?

Watching porn gets out of hand when it becomes compulsive and even affects one’s social life and self-esteem. Some health practitioners may feel that there is no need to treat porn addiction because it is not considered an addiction. However, there is hope for folks who wish to get out of addiction. de Alarcón et al. (2019) noted the treatment strategies that can benefit someone battling porn addiction include;

Lifestyle Changes

Spending fewer hours on the internet

Relationship Counselling

Couples’ therapy sessions can help identify the problem areas in your relationship causing unhealthy behavior.

Medication

Most people fall into porn addiction because they are trying to cope with other conditions. It is essential to treat the underlying condition before trying to treat the addiction.

The Bottom Line

Compulsive porn viewing can lead to serious health conditions that may affect your way of living. People who watch pornography material passively may end up being porn addicts if they reach a point where they cannot hinder their desires. Although there has been worldwide controversy about whether porn addiction is a real addiction, we cannot excuse that porn. Like drug addiction, it affects all aspects of your life and may lead to depression. As outlined in this article, many reasons cause porn addiction, ranging from relationship issues to biological factors such as brain structure. If you are a porn addict, seek help from qualified health professionals before it takes the wheel and steers your life in an unknown direction.

References

de Alarcón, R., de la Iglesia, J. I., Casado, N. M., & Montejo, A. L. (2019). Online porn addiction: What we know and what we don’t—A systematic review. Journal of clinical medicine, 8(1), 91.Gola, M., & Potenza, M. N. (2018). Promoting educational, classification, treatment, and policy initiatives: Commentary on: Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder in the ICD-11 (Kraus et al., 2018). Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 7(2), 208-210.

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POLISHING YOUR SKILLS: METHODS OF FEMALE MASTURBATION

Most sex toys companies have always been dedicated to enhancing pleasure in women through a diverse range of sex toys, but the fashion of female masturbation has never been defined. Herein are the tips for female masturbation and how you can polish your skills, including clitoral stimulation, grinding, and using sex toys.

Men and women use slang such as ‘fingering’ or ‘flicking the bean’ to define female pleasure, confusing many people. Masturbation is great if you are looking for an outlet for your thoughts or need to learn what works. This article outlines some common masturbation modes that you can incorporate during solo or couple play. 

Methods of Female Masturbation

Clitoral Stimulation

Making direct contact with the vulva, especially the clitoris, is the most common method of masturbation. You can experiment with the different types of finger motions till you find the one that works for you. Some women opt to rub circles using one or more fingers on their clitoral hood, while others focus their motion on the left or right side of the clitoris. The clit can be compared to an iceberg. Martin‐Alguacil et al. (2008) noted that there are numerous nerves on the surface compared to what you see outside. Do not neglect your labia, gently massage it for added stimulation.

Grinding

Grinding can be performed on a toy, a hard surface, or a pillow. Most women can reach orgasm by grinding their clitoris against all three. If you prefer to grind rather than any other stimulation mode, you can use sex toys such as the smart wand. Lay it on a hard surface and ensure it has a strong surface to support your body weight. While grinding may prove uncomfortable to some women, especially those with flexibility issues, it is a perfect masturbation method that guarantees mind-blowing orgasms.

Using Sex Toys

Sex toys are fun if you want to ditch the monotonous finger game during masturbation. Most toys come with a wide range of vibration modes, and all you need to do is find the motion that works best for you. Most sex toys also come with a guide stating how and where to use the sex toy for maximum stimulation. Sex toys can be intimidating, but on the brighter side, they help you to be your most authentic self during solo or partnered play. 

Non-Direct Stimulation

Not all women strip down for their masturbation sessions. Some women’s clitoris is extremely sensitive to touch and may prefer to please themselves through clothing like undies or light pants. If your clit is too sensitive, there are some sex toys you can use that will work in your favor. Some women derive their pleasure from running water over their clits, but this move may be hard to achieve because some bathtubs are hard to maneuver.

Fingering the G-Spot and the A-Spot

Most women stimulate their external naughty bits when masturbating. Some may alternate this act with internal vaginal stimulation using vibrators and dildos. Different things work for different women, which is fine if you get the most satisfaction from your preferred method. If you feel like internal stimulation will work best for you, you can use your fingers to massage the vaginal canal. Some women derive pleasure from gently massaging the opening of the vaginal canal, and some like to focus on the G-Spot.

Why Do Women Masturbate?

Like men, women masturbate due to the sexual satisfaction they get from it. Masturbation is pleasurable and releases the feel-good hormones that put you in a better mood. According to Leonard (2010), masturbation can also help with many health issues like stress, insomnia, and boredom. You should not feel weird if you get these sexual urges. They are completely normal and whether you decide to act on them is up to you. The clitoris has more than 6000 nerve endings, more than those found on the head of the penis. It is the only organ that is specifically designed for sexual pleasure. Women should know that pursuing self-pleasure is healthy for their minds and body. If you are doing it twice a month, once a day, or once in a blue moon, it should not cause concern as long as you are comfortable. Masturbation is important for your relationship with pleasure because it tunes you to your sensuality.

Most people had never understood the push behind female desire and orgasm until recent studies, and research projects came into the limelight. However, these desires vary from one female to another. Films like Fifty Shades of Grey play a huge role in switching on our erotic thoughts. Our eyes visualize it, and then our brains start forming these sensual images in our minds, and before long, you are lying on your back with your fingers between your legs. 

The Bottom Line

Masturbation has numerous mental and physical benefits, and aside from that, it allows us to explore our desires in the only way we feel works for us. In the long run, solo masturbation gives us the confidence to tell our partners what we need and how. Many women underestimate the power of indulging in solo play, terming it as a back door to pleasure. They do not know that masturbation and healthy sex walk hand in hand. There are various ways to masturbate, as outlined in this article. If you have never tried any of them, now is the time.

References

Leonard, A. (2010). An investigation of masturbation and coping style. In 38th Annual Western Pennsylvania undergraduate psychology conference.Martin‐Alguacil, N., Pfaff, D. W., Shelley, D. N., & Schober, J. M. (2008). Clitoral sexual arousal: an immunocytochemical and innervation study of the clitoris. BJU international, 101(11), 1407-1413.

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TIPS AND TRICKS: SEXY ROLE PLAY IDEAS FOR THE BEDROOM

Roleplay is a great way to explore your sexual desires and try power play. Herein are roleplay ideas for coupes, including boss and employee, outdoor sex scenes, and playing an authority figure.

As society gets more open about sex and fetishes, more people embrace sexual scenarios and desire through acting and imagination. When it pertains to dipping your toes into new and innovative sexual waters, it’s always a good idea to talk to your partner beforehand. Making room for trust and open communication will ensure a safe and sensual experience. If you’re into the sexy doctor, hot plumber, or naughty builder roles, here are some roleplay ideas to get you started.

Role Play Ideas

An Erotic Massage Therapist

A massage that goes ‘all the way’ is a tremendous delight. If you’re playing the masseuse, pay attention to all your partner’s body parts before massaging them. The payoff will be considerably more rewarding as a result. If tantric massage is your style, you can also try lingam or yoni massage.

Boss and Employee

According to Foucault (1990), breaking taboos and generating power relations are common in role play. As a result, it’s no surprise that work-related role plays are a bedroom classic. However, if you want to harness the office vibes, skip the bed and try having sex on a table or desk. While this may result in a bruised bum or frantic fumbling as you try to get your laptop out of harm’s way, it will be worth it. 

A Stranger

Get your spouse to approach you as if you’ve never met. They should also treat your body as if it’s the first time they’ve seen it and take you with all the feverish lust that causes two individuals who don’t know each other’s names to rush into bed together. The excitement of stranger sex without worrying that the person you’re sleeping with is a stranger who will abandon you the next day is arousing.

An Authority Figure

Since it involves an authority figure, the doctor/patient scenario is popular. However, it gets much sexier if the authority figure has the motive to touch you, especially if you’re dressed like an attractive doctor or nurse. Give your lover a ‘physical’ and tell them that a common side effect of such procedures is that they will want to have sex with you more than ever.

Outdoor Sex Scenes

You may decide to enact the scene of a milkmaid or farmhand. Pretend you’re rolling around in a haystack while practicing your southern American accent. Even if you’re shagging with the window open and rolling about laughing at those bad accents, try to imitate the raunchiness of doing it outdoors and the romance of the woods.

Your First Time

Christen (2018) noted that most people’s first experience was either unpleasant, embarrassing, or unfulfilling, and being able to relive it is enjoyable. Put on a soundtrack from your adolescence and attempt to recall that period of sexual tension. Bring that intense need to the surface and let it erupt again- maybe with more composure and expertise.

Yogi Master/ Instructor

Anyone can make a yoga role playwork, no matter how flexible they are. You may go pro and stretch your body into spectacular yet sexual poses, or you can embrace your inner novice and waggle your bum in the air. Pretend to be a yoga instructor. This enjoyable, creative role play will motivate you to take ambitious poses and calmly tell your partner where to position their limbs.

Monarchy

Whatever your political views on the monarchy, royal role plays can be fun. You may not care for any royals, but that doesn’t mean you can’t imagine yourself as a princess or prince. Most people believe the monarchy hasn’t been overthrown because the whole thing is fascinating. However, don’t leave all the pleasure to the royals. Bring dynasty’s eroticism to your one-bedroom flat and demand that your partner display their loyalty to you.

Best Friends Turned Lovers

If you have ever had a crush on one of your best friends, you know how intense the sexual tension can be. Play on it with the snatched looks and the confusion about how they feel about you. The tug of war between deciding whether or not to make a move can be exhilarating.

The Plumber

If you’ve ever watched an old-school porno, you know how heated things can become when the plumber, carpenter, electrician, or handyman arrives. You may pretend to be alone at home with your kitchen sink sprung a leak; you’re soaked and unsure what to do until the plumber arrives to save the day.

Pilot/ Captain

Couples who can drive have a leg up on the competition, especially a boat or plane is extremely sexy. Consider yourself a passenger on a private plane or a luxury yacht, and your pilot/captain says over the intercom, “Please report to the cabin immediately.” 

Wrestlemania

Are you a big WWE fan? Act as two wrestlers attempting to pin each other. This roleplay is ideal for those who love the mutual physical intensity in scenes and can incorporate a sense of competition. As with any role play, all players must be mindful of their partners’ weaknesses and remember to use safe words if things get out of hand. 

Business and Pleasure

Pretend one of you is a sex worker while the other is the client who has hired this individual for the night. Wait for the doorbell to ring before placing the money on the nightstand. If you’re a sex worker, make a list of what’s available and what’s not. Set forth what you want to happen if you’re the client. After you’ve finished bargaining, you can have purely transactional sex.

The Bottom Line

Even if you’ve been with your spouse for a long time, there are many ways to spice up your sex life. You don’t need to buy expensive sex devices or contort your body to make things extra steamy. All you need is a good break from your typical interactions with your companion. Embracing unusual roleplaying concepts like the ones listed in the article above. Roleplay allows you to take a break from your daily routine without having to leave your house. It can be a chance to rewrite your sexual past.

References

Christen, J. (2018). Virginity.

Foucault, M. (1990). The history of sexuality: An introduction, volume I. Trans. Robert Hurley. New York: Vintage, 95.

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THE MYSTERIOUS ROOTS OF MASTURBATION

Do you know that most married people are in sexless affairs? Sex may occur, but not as satisfying as you can think. This is the reason why most people resort to solo play. Here is everything you need to know about the mysterious root of masturbation.

Sex reports from surveys are unreliable, but Google marks lack of sex as a main search on the internet. For this reason, most people mainly opt for masturbation. The practice is also common among married couples and partners in love relationships.  Read on to understand more about the origin of masturbation and other things to know about.

What Is Masturbation?

Masturbation is the deliberate self-stimulation for sexual pleasure. That was its first spelling in English in the 1700s. However, the earlier spelling in the 1600s was ‘mastupration .’Its origin was French, showing that the English spelling was available earlier. The French people had adopted it from Latin, ‘ masturbari .’This term has maintained its form for thousands of years. However, the origin of each word’s element is unknown. It appears complete in Latin, making it harder to realize its ancestral recordings. 

The word’s roots have a long-standing elaboration. It involves alteration of ‘turbare,’ which means to disturb. This confirms the link between ‘turbo’ and ‘masturbation’ sourced from ‘manstuprare.’ Here, the first syllable, ‘man,’ comes from ‘manu,’ which also means ”hand .’The other part, ‘stuprare,’ means ‘defile’ and is associated with ‘stupid’ and ‘stupified .’According to this theory, the literal meaning could be ‘ making someone stupid by hand .’The assessment is accurate following the action of the word.

As depicted in various prehistoric cave paintings, many animal species have been seen practicing masturbation. For instance, an Egyptian myth says that the god Atum created the space through masturbation, and the Egyptian Pharaoh masturbated in the Nile annually. Some traditional cultures apply masturbation as a right of passage into maturity. Some people, such as those from the Congo Basin, don’t have a term for describing the practice, making them mixed up.

Divergent and substituted sexual actions, including same-sex love and masturbation, were considered peaceful and prosperous. For instance, during unstable days and high infant deaths, semen spilling was unmeaningful and wasteful. Still, people like the Sambia tribe in New Guinea value ejaculation as a rite of passage for young men. The semen comes by fellatio, meaning it gets consumed instead of spilling. The Greeks anciently considered masturbation normal. The elites were to increase the family line dutifully, and they got relieved by their slaves. 

Traditional Christians had a completely different perception of masturbation from sources from Genesis. When Er died, his father Judah commanded Onan, his son, to marry Tamar, Er’s widow, to sire for his brother. However, when having sex with Tamar, Onan ejaculated on the ground- due to the dangers involved in fathering in his brother’s family line, it cost a lot of inheritance. The whole thing didn’t impress God. That’s why masturbation and contraception are prohibited in the church

In the 19th century, a physician and psychiatrist declared that masturbation is common as an insanity cause in all nations. He recognized that in his mental disorders classification process, which was recognized until late 1968 when it was removed from this class. In 1972, it was announced normal. But made people carry the shame, guilt, and stigma till today. In 2014, an American teen boy committed suicide after being filmed by a friend in the washroom when he touched himself. Undoubtedly, masturbation can be a serious issue if it distresses, occurs in public, or undermines relationships. However, it doesn’t suggest people would become mad or blind. It’s the opposite because masturbation is beneficial in various ways.

Masturbation Benefits

Gives Pleasure and Convenience

Masturbation doesn’t require special tools, partners, or intricacies for sexual intercourse. While people view it as a poor sexual intercourse relative, it helps numerous couples engage in mutual masturbation. Most of them do it to improve their sexual lives and achieve the climax for both partners.

Shun Sex Related Illnesses

According to Leonard (2010), masturbation is harmless and convenient for everybody. It rarely causes pregnancy or transmission of sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV/AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, and human papillomavirus. It’s also safer from contracting coronavirus and flu.

It Builds Stronger and More Intimate Relationships

Unlike the famous perception among women, they experience a positive correlation between intercourse and masturbation frequency. Individuals who masturbate often have a higher sex drive. This drive increases when masturbation is performed mutually because it increases the frequency of sexual contact between partners. Following observation and performance, masturbation is handy in teaching partners about one another’s pleasure spots, particularities, and provocative. Masturbation can help balance cases involving one partner having more sex drive than the other.

Faster Sleep

Brancato (2021) noted that masturbation reduces stress and enhances the production of feel-good chemicals, such as oxytocin and dopamine. For this reason, it improves sleep. It also causes a serenity, stillness, and sleepiness state.

Enhances Heart Fitness

As an exercise form, masturbation efficiently lowers tension and releases endorphins. This results in relaxed muscles and blood vessels that enhance blood circulation and lower heart rate.

Enhanced Reproductive Health

Masturbation in men releases low motility sperms and decreases prostate cancer risk. Performing it before intercourse can delay orgasm for men with premature ejaculation issues. It also increases vaginal acidity and mucus, protecting against cervical cancer. In addition, it strengthens the pelvic floor muscles making you more sexually active.

The Bottom Line

Masturbation can be traced way back to the ancient days. The name masturbation was derived from many other languages with pronunciation not far from it. Several traditional countries practice the act, with some tribes having it as a rite of passage for young adult boys. While the church may rebuke it, masturbation has various advantages, including increasing sleep and cardiovascular health.

References

Brancato, S. (2021). ” Feeling Myself”: Masturbation In Women’s Coming Of Age Novels. Georgetown University.

Leonard, A. (2010). An Investigation Of Masturbation And Coping Style. In 38thAnnual Western Pennsylvania Undergraduate Psychology Conference.

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BRAIN SEX: WHICH BITS DO WHAT?

Sex begins in the head. The brain dominates our sexual behavior steps and variations; partner choice, sexual desire, arousal, ejaculation, and cuddling after sex. Here is everything you need to know about brain sex, including the difference between sex in men and women.

Several neuroimaging studies on individual sexual habits are ongoing, and more will come. The findings are combined for meta-analysis to enable the identification of brain-activated sites. This article highlights the sexual arousal neural model, culminating in orgasm, and common factors and differences between men’s and women’s brains following sexual arousal.

Sexual Arousal Neural Model

A study was conducted on hetero and homosexual men and some heterosexual women viewing sexy videos and pictures. Jordan et al. (2015) discovered sexual arousal in a four-component neurophenomenological model, as explained below;

Cognitive: Appraisal and Perception

In the cognitive component, you perceive the sexual visual stimulus, imagine its nature, and concentrate. This can result in mental rehearsal in doing the sexual behavior. The main parts of recognizing sexual stimuli are the ventromedial prefrontal cortex- VM PFC, linked to the limbic emotion, reward system, and senses. It alters the sexual stimulus focus, increasing the activity seen in visual processing locations, such as the occipital and temporal lobes.

Emotional Component

Amygdala in a sexual circumstance handles the emotional content. It works with vmPFC to regulate attention and sensory procession. Its emotional processing function is attached to the brain’s motivational areas that control sexual behavior. However, Amygdala is deactivated in orgasm and physical stimulation experiments. Scientists believe such deactivation contributes to indiscriminate sexual behavior and hypersexuality among people with Bucy syndrome. This component isn’t considered emotional as it suggests because the more emotions of physical excitement experienced results in a higher turn-on.

Psychological Component

Psychological arousal involves genital reactions, blood pressure soaring, heart racing, and hormonal changes during sexual sensitization. It’s brain-controlled. The model claims that the hypothalamus, anterior insula, and anterior cingulate cortex ACC participate in hormonal responses and autonomic reactions during arousal. The hypothalamus controlling the central nervous system in men is connected to penile responses and sexual arousal to stimuli.

Motivational Component

The motivational and emotional components mainly rely on the dopamine limbic system. Motivation is consistent in the thalamus, ACC, hypothalamus, and parietal cortex. Sexual goals are processed in the limbic areas, for example, sexual desires and urges, and reward feelings. The ACC causes an erection, whereas the striatum is the main emotional-motivational component in arousal.

Difference Between Men and Women

While male heterosexual studies are the most dominant in literature, men and women have active brain areas during sexual orientation and arousal. Kobayashi et al. (2021) indicated that women are weaker to visual erotic triggers, which goes across several sexual neuroimaging research. Only a few studies comparing male and female individuals showed discreet sex variations in brain activation during sexual activity. There is a need for more research to note reliable findings clearly and if there are other existing sex differences.

Context Matters

The visual sexual stimuli context and format utilized in neuroimaging studies may not sufficiently have an average woman steamed up as the average man when exposed to visually sexy stimuli. This implies that women are more complicated sexually. Some studies indicate that women show more powerful neural reactions than men, mainly in the sweat pheromones smell of sexual partners. Furthermore, women’s reaction to mood video types was stronger after exposure to sexy videos that expressed moods, such as telling an emotional story or component or a created live scene, including showcasing genitalia or intercourse. Their least arousal time is the follicular period, possibly the fertile phase, making women cautious and picky when obliging to a sexual experience. 

Orgasm and Brain Activation Technique

Studies demonstrate similarities in brain deactivations, patterns, and discreet activations that differ from how partners achieve orgasm. In men and women, the genitals are connected to four different nerve regions that boost the excitatory signals to the brain during an orgasm. Afterward, almost all brain areas light up, except the Amygdala and vmPFC, which deactivate. The shutdown is said to involve sexual disinhibition needed for a climax temporarily. This steals the need that controls our critical thinking and behavior.

Sexual Preference

Homosexual and heterosexual men have stronger image activation of the sex they prefer than the non-preferred. However, women’s reactions are the same in both cases and lack a difference between sexual alignments. 

Neurochemical Sex Call

We can’t overlook the neurochemical goodies coming from the love buzz before and after getting to the climax. The difference in how partner’s bodies react to the hormone rush, such as endorphins, oxytocin, and prolactin, causes controversy and confusion. This neurochemical rush is associated with multiple functions, such as cuddling behavior, bonding, and initiating successful sexual reproduction chances.

What The Future Suggests About Brainsex and Neuroimaging

What are the future implications of brain sex and neuroimaging? Studies have discovered clues in comprehending brain sex and arousal in men and women. To offer valuable insights, more developments should be given in emotional, cognitive, psychological, and emotional sexual arousal factors. The good news is that more studies about sexual arousal can help health issues, including sexual offending and disorders among people. 

The Bottom Line

Most information about the brain’s action on sex lives is from studies undertaken on animals, such as mammals and rodents. Animals and human sexuality may differ, but their implicated brain region relate. However, this article has mainly mentioned studies to do with human participation. It has indicated the major parts actively involved during various sexual activities and orientations. The information is knowledgeable and helps grasp what happens to your body during different sexual activities.

References

Jordan, K., Fromberger, P., Müller, J. L., Ralph, N., Rich, P., Turner, D., & Briken, P. (2015). Could we measure sexual interest using functional imaging?. Sexual offender treatment, 10(1), 1-29.Kobayashi, M., Nakamura, K., & Watanabe, K. (2021). Sex Differences in the Motivation for Viewing Sexually Arousing Images. Evolutionary Psychological Science, 7(3), 273-283.

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Friday, 15 April 2022

WHAT IS TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM, AND WHY IS IT BAD?

There is a topping from the bottom in dominance and submission relationships. It is different from the sexual act. However,  rules govern the game and the participants should obey them. Equipe yourself before engaging in the game.

The top and bottom in BDSM refer to the power dynamic between partners playing together. One partner acts as the top and gives directives, while the one performing the bottom role is submissive. The participant performs the roles instructed by the top. The top is referred to as master, goddess, mistress, or sir majesty.

Sometimes, the submissive partner turns the dynamics upside down and  When it happens in a bad way, it is called topping from the bottom. The sub directs and makes decisions for the dominant. The sub instructs contrary to the predetermined power dynamic. For example, when a sub gives direction on how to be tied up, the sub may do the opposite of what was agreed before the game began or directs the dominant on what type to be used, and this may happen when the dominant has selected another whip. Below are examples of topping from the bottom.

Topping from the bottom takes forms and appearances;

  • Ignoring commands.
  • Disobeying orders given by your master.
  • Questioning orders.
  • Making mistakes.
  • Negotiating the scene.

Why Topping from The Bottom Is Bad?

The sub and dominant discuss activities to be conducted in a BDSM game. The specifications on how the scene looks are laid. Going against the details to control the relationship is bad because the agreed time of opposing it is when laying and not during the game, causing more problems than pleasure.

Manipulation is not a wise idea for a sexual relationship. It limits the chance for a relationship to grow. Therefore, topping from the bottom is manipulation. People enjoy discipline because a healthy BDSM relationship helps people grow and become intimate.

Reasons Why Subs Top from The Bottom

They Are Testing the Dominant

You may come across a hard-headed submissive who wants to test if the dominant is strong to keep them in check. It motivates the dominant to reign over the submissive. The bottom opts for a different partner to take the dominant role if unable to deal with the situation.

The Bottom Partner Is Not Submissive

A person may change a partner if the  BDSM is done wrongly. They don’t do it right since they are naturally more dominant. It leads to bottom topping.

The Top Is A Novice

New dominants do not know how to top another person leading to topping from the bottom. Some are lenient as they are getting used to their role. The dominant is topped when the newbies are paired with a strong-willed submissive or one who is more experienced.

The Bottom Has Trust Issues

Trust issues arise when newbies are paired and assigned a new dominant, ignoring or disobeying them. Being hesitant is natural. New partners are not supposed to be rushed into the scene.

How to Stop Topping from The Bottom

Communication is a rule in BDSM. One proceeds as an obedient bottom after discussing desires and fear. Seek a new partner if you realize the one you are having is unfit. A dominant might see signs from the sub and find solutions without raising the conversation.

Train the sub to stop topping from the bottom. Discourage behaviors you do not like and encourage those you are comfortable with. Keep training the sub and avoid punishing them.

The Bottom Line

Topping from the bottom is discouraged as it damages the relationship between the sub and dominant. People need training instead of punishment when they make mistakes. Communicate with your partner to avoid mistakes.

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10 MOST COMMON SEXUAL FANTASIES… YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS

The action in sexual daydreams involves themes like danger or dirtiness. Everyone has sexual fantasies that they wish to fulfill. However, couples find it hard to share what they fantasize about when having sex. Understand that this is normal and you do not have to be ashamed. Some might be things you’d wish to try or imagination.

Some women fantasize about being raped and this requires a therapist. Fantasies do not only work for heterosexual relationships but also for gays and lesbians. Some fantasies involve violence which is pure distillation because sex is associated with aggression.

What Are Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasies are scenes used in writing erotica. They are dirty stories or anything visual when getting orgasmic bliss. Both genders fantasize about feelings when they are cumming. Mental fantasies keep things hot because they provide variation in your sex life. The following are fantasies to use to experience a mind-blowing orgasm.

Dominance and Submission

Studies show that dominance and submission are sexual fantasies experienced by both genders. Women find it erotic when they are dominant during sexual intercourse. Dominance and submission are part of BDSM. Communication is key as you need to know if your partner is comfortable with the act or not. These types are fulfilling, whether you are on top or bottom.

Forced Sex

Playing such fantasies is risky though some find it erotic. Talk about the fantasies before doing it to prevent the feeling of dominance and seeing themselves as victims of rape.

Anal Sex

It works for people who have not tried anal sex before. It is fulfilling to fantasize about anal sex even when you are not interested. Incorporate pegging fantasies if you are imagining penetrating your man.

Oral Sex

Imagining hardcore BDSM is beneficial under this circumstance. Fantasize about your man licking your genitals to experience a pleasure. Giving and receiving oral sex works for both genders.

Stranger Sex

  • Not everyone buys the idea of having sex with a stranger. Incorporate this fantasy when making out with your lover. Schedule to meet at a public place and talk of flirt. Head to a room or car and have sex once you build chemistry.

Bondage Play

Some combine this with submission and dominance. However, try it alone to experience more pleasure. Wear ball gags, bind your arms and legs with restraints and fantasize during a solo play to keep yourself exciting. People find freedom when they surrender. Bondage can be with fur and silk, light and fluffy or metal hardware. The plan is to turn on orgasm.

Trying Threesome

Adding a third part into the game works best for both genders. It allows you to experience another partner. This fantasy is pleasurable if you like watching your partner with another.

Sex in Public

People imagine being pleasured in public and find it more erotic than sex in private. There are reasons couples like it. . The risk of being caught or not knowing someone is watching makes it a quickie. Places, such as around schools, may not be good places to have good times with your lover.

Watching Someone Have Sex

Watching someone have sex or being watched when masturbating makes you shiver. You find it erotic imagining people in porn. These fantasies give orgasms.

Having Sex with a Sex Worker

This fantasy works with stranger sex .you fantasize with a money transaction mentality. Give your man a dance similar to sex workers.

The Bottom Line

Couples have different fantasies. Share for mutual pleasures. Some fantasies are not cool when performed in real life. Be keen if you are looking forward to having your dreams come true.

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5 TANTRIC MASSAGE TECHNIQUES FOR A DEEP SENSUAL EXPERIENCE

Massaging your partner is a gift to offer. There are techniques for performing to give cravings. Nothing is more intimate than giving someone attention and energy for a relaxing experience.

  • There are steps to follow before massaging;
  •  Set the place to draw your lover’s mood. 
  • Play romantic music as you prepare the room.
  •  Encourage communication to know their consent about the idea.

Research shows that individuals who communicate their preferences before sex experience pleasure.

Tantric massage is illegal in some places but Those living in the city bring pleasure through massaging. Women love the tantric massage because it has tantric sex and physical and spiritual experience. Try tantric with your partner if you are unable to get a professional.

Below are steps for a tantric massage experience.

Introduction to Tantric Massage

Tantric massage is about you on the receiving end. It is a form of foreplay and reminds you of your beauty hence worshiping it. This massage is slow to attain relaxation. 

Preparing for Tantric Massage

Good things need preparation. Here are steps to consider when preparing for Tantric massage.

  • Pick a location; on the floor or sofa. 
  • Plugin oil warmer to freshen the air.
  • Dim the light. Bright light might not bring an erotic atmosphere, and you may decide to toss a colored scarf over a lamp if you do not have another option.
  • Play music. Select a playlist that will carry your mind into fantasy. Calm music works best than other genres.
  • Make the bed and prepare the body. Fold the sheets in half, placing fresh linens and towels on the bed to absorb excess oil. Avoid staining sheets to increase a romantic feeling. Prepare your body by shaving your pubic hair and moisturizing your skin.

Receiving A Tantric massage

Take a hot bath with a fizzy bomb. Allow the water to soak into your skin and make your partner scrub your body. It allows them to pay attention and understand your body. Start with a scalp massage after applying shampoo to your hair. Let him cover your body in a thick lotion after a bath to make your skin softer. Use massaging oil or the melting candle.

Allow your man to rub you. Let him rub the body allowing blood to flow to your erogenous places. He should rub your labia, stimulate your clitoris, and massage your butt cheeks and anus.

Tantric Massage Techniques

Consider techniques for this massage;

Side by Side Technique

Let your man use both thumbs on the vagina to stimulate the clit.

On Your Belly

Let your man pour oil into his hands and rub them together as you lie on your back. He may place both hands on your back and run them to your shoulder. This technique is used to incorporate your genitals with other parts. Let him repeat the process and experiment with anal fingering.

Massaging Non-Sensual Parts

Let him explore other body parts; your arms, legs, and shoulder. Remind him to go through parts that are rarely touched.

Keeping Things Slowly

The reason for the Tantric massage is relaxation by combining touches. Let it be slow for pleasure.

Orgasm is Not Necessary

Your orgasm stimulates since his hands roam back to your genitals. You can reach climax if you want, although it’s unnecessary for this massage. Take a nap when he is done.

The Bottom Line

Tantric massage involves the receiver surrendering without reaching orgasm. Set the mood and ensure a conducive atmosphere. Consider putting towels to absorb excess oil so as not to stain your sheets.

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HOW IMPORTANT IS SEX TO A RELATIONSHIP? FIND OUT HERE

Relationships are built on shared experiences and trust. It develops mutual attraction between couples as it grows. There is an attraction, and sex is practiced regularly. Sex establishes connections and maintains genuine affection. Therefore, understand that sex involves more than physical drives and comes with connections.

Importance of Sex in a Relationship

Sex is an idea understood by sexual partners experiencing it. Working together to understand each other is essential for a stable relationship. It is important in a relationship but expressed when two click. That said, here are some benefits of sex in relationships.

Sex Strengthens Relationships

Sex strengthens the bond between a couple. The physical connection experienced from sex is a form of intimacy. Sex brings you closer and emotionally connected. A sexless relationship is vulnerable. Keep the connection stronger by having more sex to avoid falling short of intensity. Commitment is essential for fueling sexual urges.

 It Is a Way of Maintaining Closeness

No relationship runs smoothly without disagreement. Ensure you make up to your partner after a fight. It helps to reiterate the connection. Being physically close sends signals that both of you enjoy the emotional connection. This factors in resolving issues that may spoil the relationship if left unattended. Failing to have sex with your partner sends negative signals, and they rethink their behavior and resolve.

Sex Relieves Stress

Stress is part of life in a relationship. Sexual intercourse with your lover relieves stress by triggering the release of endorphin and other feel-good hormones. Don’t take antidepressants; call your lover and experience a relaxing mood.

Sex Improves Your Physical and Emotional Health

People who have sex have a better immune system with a reduced risk of heart diseases. Use sex to soothe your migraines and improve body fitness as it is a light exercise.

Creating Positive Feedback Loop

Sex creates a connection between sexual activities and well-being. More sex leads to a positive feedback loop; those who love to experience sex need to experiment with sexual fantasies. It helps create affection. The number of times you have sex varies in a couple, but it improves your relationship.

Sex Helps to Balance Hormones

Hormones balance when you have sex. A calm body helps maintain hormones leading to a healthy life, reduced anxiety and increased fertility. Failing to have sex causes disrupted natural mechanisms. 

It Adds Passion to Your Life and Helps You Sleep Better

Marrying your friend takes the relationship to another level. Having sex acquires the relationship with a new name and value. Sex affects sleep triggering the release of oxytocin chemicals to help your body relax.

Sex Helps to Keep Romance Alive

Sex rekindles romance, especially if you are busy. Put effort into making sexual encounters enjoyable and pay attention to foreplay. Kissing and cuddling before sex create a bond.

 The Bottom Line

Sex does not only provide pleasure but also benefits both partners. It improves your health and stabilizes your partner physically and mentally. Treat your partner with sex to cool off if you are in conflict. Understand that a man’s ego is tied to sex; talk about intimacy issues with care.

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SEX BUCKET LIST: 25 SEXUAL THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

Sex is an activity that adults wish to enjoy. Sex is not about pleasure alone but comes with benefits for growth. Couples use sex to create a bond in their relationship.

Consider ideas that spice your relationship, whether you are a starter or a pro in sex. Nobody wants a boring partner. Here are 25 ideas that spice a relationship.

Talk Dirty

Add dirty talk to your list of things to try. This aspect challenges your partner to think about sex. Do this through chatting or verbally.

Wear Blindfold

Introducing a blindfold to your bedroom sounds kinky. However, it is easy and effective. The absence of sight enhances other senses, taste or hearing, to help you focus on the touches.

Play Sex Truth or Dare

The game helps you learn your partner’s preferences. It allows both of you to share secrets outside of a normal conversation.

Giving A Lap Dance

Giving a lap dance is fun to both and acts as foreplay. Ensure you have a comfortable chair that gives space to lap dance. Use a guide if you are new to the game to avoid messing up.

Finding The G-Spot

G-spot is a place of pleasure in a woman. Locate it using a finger, dick or sex toy for orgasms.

Phone Sex

You may be in the mood for sex, but distance hinders you. Make a dirty phone call and touch your genitals while talking. It leaves you sexually satisfied and raises your intimacy.

Fulfill a Sexual Fantasy

Relish sexual fantasies with your partner. People find it erotic to fantasize when reaching orgasm. This act fuels the process to climax.

Having Sexy Scavenger Hunt

Scavenger hunts spice your relationship. Leave a clue at strategic places and have a scavenger at the end of the hunt to make it enjoyable.

Getting Nasty in the Hot Tub

Have a hot bath together. Pop champagne and wine to enjoy the game. Chilling while drinking with your partners creates romance.

Role-Play

Choose a character that fits you. Put on Halloween costumes

Play Naked Twister

Twisters are games for children and adults. Play the game when naked to spice things.

Play Body Paint

Body paints are used in the bedroom. People eat them because they have different flavors.

Take Sexy Photos

Send your partner sexy photos when at work to keep them in the mood. Put on lingerie for attraction.

Play Strip Poker

The rule of this game is that whatever happens to the loser is decided by both partners. It helps to get dimensions for a stronger relationship.

Take Bath Together

The bubble bath is sensual as it adds a layer of romance.

Get sexy in New Location.

Taking sex to a different location adds excitement to your sex life. Make sure the location is legal.

Try New Position

The same-sex position creates boredom. Try different positions from a movie.

Add Food to the Mix

Apply cream to your partner’s sensitive areas and lick as you give intense pleasure. Use chocolate or fruits.

Create Sex Song Playlist

Having sex while listening to music is intimate. It creates an erotic atmosphere to leave both of you with memories.

Take your lover to the beach and lose your swimsuits for a great experience. It is a killer combo to try while on the beach.

  • Having Quickie

Having sex when you are still dressed or about to see off your lover is pleasurable.

Being Tied up

It is nerve-wracking but steamy. Trust your partner as he needs to treat you right when tied up.

Use of Sex Toy

Toys stimulate sensations. Use vibrators for a pleasurable experience.

Masturbation

It is important if you need a non-penetrative type of sex.

Sex with No Kisses

Set a rule before bed for happy moments.

The bottom Line

Sex is about having fun and creating memories. Try different things to spice your relationship. The results are not only orgasmic but also memorable.

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WHEN A GOOD MARRIAGE GOES BAD

Love and marriage are beautiful things that come with emotions, laughs, and jokes as you spend time with your partner. Some marriages have happy endings. Some are troublesome and lead to separation. Here are factors causing bad marriage;

Changes or differences in opinions

Pressures such as work and children drain time and energy. There’s a shift in attention when children come in and couples drift . Some find it hard to believe that kids benefit from the stability of a compassionate and steady marriage.

Family cultivated the relationship and willingness to work as parents but this becomes the problem. Don’t underestimate the value of dating after you’ve married. Create time and remain connected.

Lack of respect for the marriage

Couples might start to take things lightly, fail to do stuff they should, express gratitude, confess, and respect their partner once love fades. Track the number of times you respond to your partner harshly or nasty, making unreasonable demands, lying, and withholding interest or compassion. Realize that the marriage suffers every moment we don’t regard our dear ones in the high regard they deserve, treat them with disrespect, or fail to help them feel happy and loved. Infidelity, disagreement, anger, and a slew of other marriage killers thrive in an atmosphere of frustration. Therefore, the relationship must be preserved and nurtured as if it were a valuable yet fragile treasure, and it must not be permitted to become mundane or ordinary.

You tend to grow apart.

Relationships have highs and lows. Staying on track and motivated by the same thoughts is difficult. People develop new hobbies throughout. It’s necessary to have needs, desires, and time for a marriage’s sustainability.

You enjoyed the sportier or energetic activity as a pair when you were newlyweds. It’s crucial to find new activities rather than giving up on the stuff you do. Opinions and interests on topics may change. A married couple doesn’t have to have identical ideas or hobbies to get along, as long as they can cohabit peacefully and have a conviction of connection.

 Give Aspects of Us Away

Marriage necessitates prioritizing it and learning to honor one another. Those characteristics are out of whack and prone to handing valuable parts to everyone and any amount of diversions rather than the one we chose in a relationship. Does your partner understand what you have to offer rather than a colleague, buddy, or whoever you meet?

Couples undermine marriage by amusing other people other than their partners. It might be TV, messaging, Twitter and Facebook, a hobby, an inclination or another individual who’s the vice. Be a willing bearer of your spouse to avoid cheating.

Let Life Take Its Toll On Us

Years present opportunities for frustrations, setbacks, illness and money troubles. Confront these challenges together. A positive mindset and positivity go along with fighting a struggle together. Support your partner.

Bitterness results from holding on to resentment, disappointment, and keeping count, which may strain the relationship. Be ready for your relationship to be evaluated and for either of you to tug in different directions. Take advantage of marriage and rely on one another for support.

You Don’t Know Enough About Ourselves.

Not everybody is a good match for a relationship. The risk of marrying too early is that you don’t have a handle. A relationship may appear to be nice only to deteriorate.

It emphasizes the necessity of becoming picky about companions and understanding your needs. There is no need to settle for less or neglect tendencies that rot and become issues. Take your time before diving into a relationship.

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HOW TO SMOOTHLY HOOK UP WITH A GUY & MAKE IT HOT AS HELL

Are you thinking of hooking up with a guy you have a crush on? Here is a complete guide on everything you need to do to hook up with your dream guy effortlessly, including going for easy drinks and being straightforward about your intentions. 

Whether you want to go on a first date or are newly single, you may not understand hooking up. You need to understand how to hook up with a guy smoothly. This blog comes with a complete guide on tips that will make you win the guy of your dreams. 

Be Straightforward About Your Intentions 

Being honest about what you want from a guy is essential for a healthy and good hookup. Have a genuine and honest conversation with the guy you are hooking up with before thinking of sex. 

If Feelings Get Involved, Admit It

When you develop feelings for the one you are hooking up with, consider letting them out. Do not let the guy you are hooking up with notice your feelings before revealing them. This makes them feel like you want to go direct from hookup to a serious relationship, which seems messy and manipulative. Feelings are natural, and you can never shut them down. Therefore, confess your feeling even if it’s the first time you are hooking up with the guy. 

Go for Easy Drinks 

For safety and comfort reasons, avoid any alcoholic drinks. Soft drinks will keep you alive and comfortable around your guy.

Get Close to the Guy

Sit closer to the guy while talking. The guy should be able to smell your erotic perfume while looking at you with lustful eyes. This can be great, especially if you want something from the guy.

Sit in the Guy’s Lap

You can sit on your guy’s lap while looking straight into his eyes. This posture will send a direct message about what you want them to do.

Talk About if You Want to be Exclusive or Not

Polyamory and monogamy are common today and can be of great value if discussed. When hooking up with a guy, it is essential to know if you are exclusive. This will help avoid embarrassment or misunderstandings.

Come Up with the Rules of Your Hookup

Flexibility is essential in any hookup. However, discuss your rules whenever you hook up with a guy. This lets them understand what you need when sleeping with them. It will also prevent any misunderstanding,

Let Them Know When You are Not Into Them Anymore

Do you feel like you are losing interest in the guy you are hooking up with? It is healthy to let the guy know your stand. 

Put Any Awkwardness Out into the Open

Did something awkward happen when on a date with your guy? Consider talking about it. It is healthy to make things clear to avoid feeling awkward. You do not want to feel embarrassed with the guy, especially when it’s a first-time hookup. 

Dress Up Wisely

You must look presentable with a sexy and fancy outfit on. Wear something that will look good on you, and please the guy you are hooking up with. Moreover, ensure you go for an outfit that perfectly fits maximum comfort. The outfit can be revealing but not too much.

Choose a Location 

Choosing the best meeting point with the guy you are hooking up with is generally appropriate. This keeps you well prepared and informed of the place you will meet. Also, choose a safe place for a comfortable moment with your partner. 

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HOW TO USE CANNABIS FOR BETTER SEX AND ORGASM

Marijuana marketers in areas where the substance is legal have pounced on anecdotal evidence that adding a little weed may boost excitement ...